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My momma said...

As I get older, I find I often have my mother's words coming out of my mouth, or springing to mind. Time to document these before they're lost to the next generation!

When I was being an incorrigible little pip:

"I'll break your arms and legs, and beat you over the head with them!"
"I'll hang you up in the closet by your toenails!"

Now I know this sounds as if mom had a sadistic streak, but she actually only rarely resorted to corporal punishments of any kind at all. The effect was mostly cartoonish, in the ridiculousness and impossibility of the threats. Mom was also a big fan of the "I'm going to count to three..." school of discipline. Worked like a charm, at least til I was fast enough to out run her!
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